Dear Mr. James,
Do you know why a bland fag like you gets "consensual" sex with Ukrainian girls? Because all of them dream of using you to get the hell out of that pit of a country and into yours, where they"ll dump you and whore themselves up to someone better. They"re whores, James, and the reason they"re whores is because they"re Ukrainian. You must be just about the most annoying trick they"ve had to turn, actually believing that they like you for "who" you are and not "what" you are. As for the reason we prefer to pay the Ukrainian whores here with cash (yes, they are all Ukrainian by the way -- why else did god create Ukrainian chicks if not to service Russians?) is simple: we pay them to get the hell out of our apartments the minute post-coital depression sets in. And we gotta say, Ukrainians may be sub-human and all, but you wave a fifty dollar bill in front of their sticky faces, and believe us you, they"re out the door faster than you can say "tochka." Which is to say, they can be taught rudimentary skills. Who knows, someday Ukrainians might even walk upright! Oh and yes, the reason why we"re writing this is specifically to encourage rank, crusty old pervert businessmen from the West to flood into Ukraine and completely fuck up your action. This is what you get for fucking with the eXile.